Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
