how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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