This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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