Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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