There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
There's always time for handjobs
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
