Whoa Z and x make the same sound
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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