I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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