So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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