who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
