i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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