i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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