You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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