so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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