We're like a lot better than the average bears
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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