Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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