and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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