my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
