I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
