You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
