Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
