ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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