just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
