you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize