Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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