Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
