a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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