Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
