I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I stole a fireplace last night.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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