remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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