I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
false alarm, still single
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