screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
