I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
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