i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
