Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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