Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
