I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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