may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
