I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
