i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
