God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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