Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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