I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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