What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
