I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
