He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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