I'm drive I can fine osifer
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
