It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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