ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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