the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
