i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
