The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
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