Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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