dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize