Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
