How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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