I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
we're chasing vodka with high fives
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
