Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
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Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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