I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
In America we eat man semen.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
