had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
