i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
