he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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