I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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