I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Small penises have feelings too.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
