yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
