my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
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