It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize