how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She needs sedatives and a leash
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
