I skipped work to stalk him.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
