Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
