I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
