Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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