I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
