1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize